Guinevere

(I have to give props to a college classmate of mine for the template of this post. Melissa is journaling through life and country lyrics for a year. Recalling memories, brokenness and recurring question, she highlights the existential underpinnings of a country song. Check her blog out!)


I love music - songwriting to be exact. In life, there exists themes,events,thoughts,feelings,hunches, understanding, truths beyond the bounds of grammar and proper punctuation. Its a shame we do not appreciate the artistic brethren among us. People in the arts, at times, communicate elements in life that seem to evade our limited language. It's not solely in the words said, or the melody composed, the stage set or dance moved...its the whole lot of it put together at once, in cadence, syncopated, metered, segmented only to rise, fall and come together leaving you hanging on a note, a word, an idea. It's the expression that captures what we all want to say - what we know, but are at a loss to expound upon. It's as if those in the arts understand certain things better that the rest of us - like they can see in ways others cannot.

A few days ago, my local country music station played the newest Eli Young Band single.

She's got a bumper like a billboard
Covered in stickers of her favorite bands
She's got a handful of records that she turns to
When she needs to land
She's a saturday night parade through the streets
That all eyes come to see including me

She carries memories around like souvenirs down in her pockets
She should have let some go by now but can't seem to drop it
Says forgiveness ain't nothing but a lifeless tire on the shoulder of her soul
That never rolls

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'

For as much as she runs she's still here

Always hopin' to find something quicker than heaven

To make the damage of her days disappear

Just like Guinevere

She don't hold on to nothin' new for very long
She writes you in as just one more tale and then you're gone
Cause she once fell hard cause she dropped her guard
And no one gets to stay
It's just too late

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear
Just like Guinevere

Listening to this song, I was reminded of why I desire to counsel. There exists all around us beautiful people carrying around

eclectic hurts in blue jean pockets. Men and women holding onto to life's experience for meaning, trusting the feeling of song

and living under the power of their brokenness.

People. Its about people. People who are loved or not. People who parade through life, elusive as the summer day is hot. People

whose mess is hard to avoid or whose pride sops it up as best it can. People who run long and hard and wake up to find they are

in the very spot they have tried for years to leave. People looking for a quick fix, an infomercial for happiness, a drive thru menu

of solutions to life's problem. People, just like Guinevere, are a beautiful mess.

Yes, its about people. The real kind. The kind that are only beginning to realize their messiness. The kind that are eclipsed by their brokenness.

The kind that have a heart full of questions. The hurting. The unsure. The all of us kind.

All of us. Its about all of us and our broken, fallen, sinful state. It's about the Savior who came to walk through all earth has to offer.

It's about Him making it through this earthly life unstained. About Him taking our stain, our sin, upon Himself. About Him taking the

ramification of our mess upon himself. About Him making peace with God, bringing redemption, a chance at new life, through his sacrifice

for people everywhere, just like Guinevere.

I stand five classes and eight months shy of a Master's in Christian Counseling. As I ready myself for the last leg of this race, I listen to

this song over and over increasing reminded of the adventure the Lord has begun to take me on. It is my prayer that the Guineveres

placed in my path will write me in their tale long enough to see that Christ wants to stay.

~Sarah

every hour

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord,

No tender voice like thine can peace afford.

I need Thee,

Oh, I need Thee,

Every hour I need Thee,

Oh, bless me now my Savior,

I come to Thee.

~Heather

SOPI is coming! (or, has come...)

SOPI is the language assessment that determines the level at which Hindi speaker is performing.

As I was hurrying on my way to catch the bus to teach in the village, I was stopped on the road by a polite young man on a bicycle. He asked, in his very best english, if I was the named person on the envelope. And, since Cathy & I are the only foreigners in the area and Heather is certainly not a Hindi name, he had a 50/50 chance. I quickly signed for and accepted the envelope, and headed on my way. I stuffed it into my bag and went on with my day.

Once I returned home from the day's adventures, I found the light yellow envelope I had stuffed into my bag only a few hours before. It still remains unopened on my table. I know what is inside. The SOPI arrived today. So, I will complete the SOPI on my Friday afternoon, that is American Friday, April 30th, morning.

Any and all prayers would be greatly appreciated.

I do know that I will indeed survive this time, however, I would very much like to do very well (as some of you may know, I am a little bit of an over-achiever sometimes). The Father has already taught me so much and shown me more of himself through this intensive language learning time. It is my deepest prayer that he will allow me to more fluently share who he is with those around me.

~Heather

A Different Kind of Classroom

Today was one of the days I look forward to. After language, I headed out to the village where I help to teach now and then. It is a long, hot bus ride, but once I have arrived, that doesn't seem to matter to me anymore.

I'm pretty sure that the children teach me more than I teach them, anyways!

I was warmly (and loudly) greeted by the children as I went searching for my glasses, and hankie to wipe my face. We all settled in and began our usual English lessons. These children have learned so much. I am so proud of them. They were sounding out sentences today, which is a long way from only knowing letter names of capital letters a few months ago. They were even telling me the meaning of the sentences in Hindi to show that they were not only reading, but comprehending! It was a good day.

After I had written a sentence on the chalkboard that was propped against an outside tree stump, I gave the children a few moments to write the sentence and look at the words before we read it together. My mind began to reflect on my previous teaching eperiences and how today was so different from any I have had before.

The children age from maybe 5 to 12 or 13 years old. They are dressed in clothes that have been discarded by others. They were only able to write the sentences I gave them because I also supplied the pencil. The chalk almost allowed me to write legibly on the chalkboard. There was at least one puppy that ran between my feet and the underside of an old couch that had been pulled up. One of the students, who is likely 6 or 7 years old, had to bring her 2 year old brother with her because he was her responsiblity today. He was not planning to sit quietly while we all had school, to say the least. The teacher's almost 3 year old sang songs from a few feet away from the make-shift classroom, and the teacher nursed her 5 month old baby girl. All this in the hour and a half that I taught English, Hindi and Math!

Is this the classroom I dreamed of as I studied at Auburn? It isn't even close. But it is the one the Father had planned for me today, and there isn't anywhere else I would have rather been. How he blesses us far beyond anything we could ask or imagine!

~Heather

*Thank the Father for such an amazing opportunity.
*Ask the Father to allow these children, and their families, to come to know and trust only him.

Staying with Auntie

I spent a little over a week staying with Auntie, who lives in a town a few hours north. It was a long, HOT, sweet, encouraging, fruitful, hard, mosquito-filled week. It was one of those weeks that I have had to allow my stubbornness and unwillingness to quit push me through. You know, one of those, what doesn't kill us will make us stronger, kind of weeks.

I met Auntie on Saturday morning as we prepared to travel to her home. She was a gentle spoken, small statured, Indian woman. As we arrived home to Auntie's, I began to see the fiesty lady that dwelled within that little body.

Auntie decided years ago that she didn't want to get married. She didn't want to have children. She wanted to do what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, and still does. Many of Auntie's familiy members have become believers, but she very clearly explained to me, "that isn't for her."

I so enjoyed the opportunity to build a relationship with Auntie, now, the week was long and hard, but Auntie allowed me to become family. She allowed me to share who I am, the story of how the Father changed my life, as well as stories from his word. She allowed me to go to fellowship on Sunday, and she even took me to join the rest of her family for Sunday lunch, which was preceeded by a word from God's word.

Auntie had an opion about most everything and enjoyed the opportunity to share it with me. My curly hair needed brushing, my clothes needed ironing and didn't fit properly, my shower was taken at the wrong time of day, I should wear shoes when I walk on the roof, I should eat breakfast every morning, oh, the list goes on.

Auntie has a sister who lives close-by, so she came in and out on a regular basis. They very often wanted to discuss my marital status. (Now this is where my favorite opinion of Auntie's is shared.) Let me remind you that Auntie has decided that she will never marry and her sister comes in complaining about her husband.

As they asked when I would get married, I gave my usual reply, "My life is in God's hand. I want to have a husband and children, but it will be in his way and time." To this, the sister responded, "Marriage is very important." Auntie asked if I had a friend in America. I told her I didn't have a male friend right now that I was planning to marry, to which she immediately responded, "Are you looking? 'Cause if you are, you only have one eye open!"

I had to laugh. Oh, the irony of the marital advice I have received from a chosen to be single, Hindu, Indian woman.

Auntie has already called several times to check in on me and has made me promise to come by each time I head north. I will always be thankful for her allowing me to be part of who she is, thankful for her patience with my not so beautiful Hindi, and prayerful that she will one day call herself a believer.

~Heather

A Year in Review

Today marks a year, how can it be?

Sometimes it feels like it surely has been three.

As I look back, I am amazed at all the Father has brought me through.

As I look forward, I choose to be in wonder of all He plans to do.

My God is faithful, always by my side,

so, tonight, I rest in Him and desire, above all else, to simply abide.

~Heather

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father;

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

The monster we call Sopi

Today, as I ponder the woman that I am, I am amused.

I was just thinking, "I love being the teacher, so why don't I love being the student?" Then, I realized, I love to teach children who need to be taught in a different, unique way.

In the same way, I like to learn through hearing and experiencing, through ways that are somewhat unique.

Studying Hindi has been fun. It is so encouraging to finally understand what Auntie is asking. My heart glows when a friend comments on how much my Hindi has improved. I have loved learning Hindi from my friends and neighbors, and even from Bollywood films.

However, I have reached the language learning stage in which a classroom with a teacher and textbook is necessary.

Sopi evaluates my language. She lets me know the level at which I am speaking. She has said that eventhough I can talk with Auntie now and can handle business transactions, my Hindi isn't, well, sophisticated or eloquent.

So, I am off to Hindi school. I started class this morning. The teacher gave me homework, and, it wasn't to watch a Bollywood film!

But, to conquer Sopi, I will do my homework and my best to study, and learn, beautiful Hindi.

Sopi, watch out! Here I come!

~Heather

*Thank the Father for this opportunity for me to increase in my Hindi abilities.
*Thank Him for the provisions to be in a good Hindi learning environment.
*Ask the Father to give me the ability to absorb and process so much Hindi in such a short time.
*Ask that the Father allow my Hindi to reach the place that I can clearly share His stories and truth without "Hindi hiccups," for this is really what matters.

We've a story to tell to the nations!

Saturday was cookie day. The cookie icing had dried, the cookies were packaged, and I was off to spread the story.

Now I had a picture of the cookie package in my mind and knew who I wanted to share cookies and stories with, but I didn't know exactly how it was all going to work out.

I had the privilege of sharing cookies (and tea, and tea, and tea...) with my sweet neighbors, and some of the people I interact with daily. They were so pleased, and received the "Easter Biscuits" with a smile. Each sat and listened as I shared the Resurrection story in my very best Hindi (which still needs a little work).

Everyone listened, some just smiled, others had questions. There were those who had heard this story before, and those who had never heard it.
May they each choose to allow it to change them, from the inside out.

How blessed are we who get to be part of His story!

~Heather

*Praise the Father for allowing me the opportunity to share His story!
*Ask the Father to continue to bless my Hindi efforts and allow me to further share His stories in a way that would be best understood, believed, and accepted.
*Ask the Father to allow His story to remain on the hearts and minds of those who heard it this week. Ask that they would seek after Him.

Even when it seems it may be impossible...

Some say I am independent; some say I'm stubborn.

My mother would tell you that I am just like my father.

However, there's something my Daddy often reminds me of, "When your Mama gets something on her mind, there is no stopping her. You know that."

So, this week, I may be most like my mother.

Easter is my very favorite. It is hands down, the best holiday.

Easter means a Sunrise Service at the Teel's house, dying eggs with Ellie & Mason, taking a long drive with Sarah, singing Miss PattyCake songs with preschoolers, stuffing little plastic eggs, a fantastic day of corporate worship, but above all else, it is celebrating the Resurrection!

This year, as I have been preparing for Easter, I have known it was going to look a little different, but I have wanted it to be special.

I decided I wanted to have colorfully decorated, cut-out Easter cookies to present to my neighbors & friends as I share with them the story of the Resurrection. I had a picture in my mind of what this should look like (that's where Mama and I get into trouble)!

I only ran into a few snags along the way...

my neighbors & friends won't eat eggs or anything baked with eggs, the eggless recipe calls for cream cheese, I have only a glass baking dish, I don't have any idea how to find or make food coloring, I have never made cookie icing, and I have been down with Bronchitis all week.

But, when I get something on my mind, it will happen, or I will do my very best at making a valiant effort at it and may, in fact, die trying.

So, I have learned...

If you talk to the right experienced overseas cook, she might have an eggless cut-out cookie recipe.

If you drain plain yougart overnight through a loosely woven cloth, you might get cream cheese.

If you can explain what a cookie sheet is and what it is made out of and used for, as well as what size your oven is, in the local language to the worker at the kitchen store, he might round up something that resembles a cookie sheet.

If you talk to enough locals and the right store owners, you might find that someone does have coloring (other than hair coloring) for sale.

If you scour the internet, you might find a recipe for cookie icing for which you have all of the ingredients.

If all of these somewhat possible situations fall into place, you might end the day with colorfully decorated, cut-out Easter cookies!

So, indeed, the day has ended well. I have a kitchen counter lined with colorful, cut-out Easter cookies. I have worked on a simplified version of the Resurrection story in Hindi. I am planning to visit with neighbors and friends on Saturday in hopes to share a cup of tea, an Easter biscuit (cookie), and an amazing story.

~Heather

*Join me in pleading with the Father to soften the hearts of the people of M-town.

*Ask that He would allow my Hindi to be understood.

*Ask that He would guide me to the divine appointments that He has made.

*Ask that He would use these days to change lives for eternity.