Thoughts are many. Feelings are immeasurable. I am utterly exhausted.
The final move, this side of the ocean, took place earlier this week. It was the move to Virginia, for an 8 week time of training and orientation. It is of unexplainable value to spend 8 weeks with others who are experiencing many of the same thoughts and feelings right at the same time.
This move makes saying "yes" to the Lord so real. Sometimes I think, "Who did I fool? Do they really think the Lord has called me to this?" Well, I know with all my heart that the Lord has called me to what lies ahead, but that doesn't seem to make it any easier, today.
Today, it feels big. It feels hard. It feels scary. Yesterday, as I spent time with the Lord, He brought sweet comfort in the midst of such inner turmoil. You see, even though this area will be somewhat like my past experiences, my mind has been dwelling on all of the drastic differences.
I am incredibly resistant to change. I have always thought of myself as someone who was willing to embrace each new adventure with eloquence and grace. However, the Lord has shown me differently. Sticking with what we know is safe. It isn't too scary. It's predictable, well, usually. This is what I like. I am finding my current situation to be far from predictable, same-old, same-old. Even still, our Father is an ever-constant God, in an ever-changing world!
He is molding and making. Thank goodness He doesn't give up and leave us the way we are, but He just keeps right on working. He is at work. He is sharpening and refining. It hurts.
However, I know He has amazing, unimaginable things ahead. There will be more hard days ahead. There will be more hurt. But, I know that He is going to allow me to see and experience His work in ways beyond my biggest dreams. He doesn't plan for me to embark on this adventure alone. He will always be right here. He is faithful.
So, onward I march. Forward is where His plans reside. His plan is where I want to be, always, no matter where it takes me.
~Heather
Needing knee-time:
*Ask that the Father would use me to encourage others who have not yet walked down this path.
* Ask the Father to draw me even closer to Himself, that it would be closer and sweeter than ever before.
* Ask that He would give me the strength and courage to let go of what is behind, and embrace what lies ahead.
* Praise the Father for all that He is doing. There is an amazing journey ahead!
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