“A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?”
– Proverbs 20:24, ESV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did not plan this route. I did not draw out a map that would get me here. Nowhere in my five-year plan did I allot for graduate school, let alone seminary. By now, I should be moving into phase three of ‘Total-Revolution-and-Eventual-Domination’ of the music business. Alas, that dream is different now. No, I did not plan for the days I have now; however, I would not trade them for all of Music Row.
In the summer of 2006, I moved back in with my parents. I, a college graduate, for a year, was also unemployed for the same year. Getting a job in the music industry is much like joining the Mafia. One either knows someone who has an opening or makes an opening for themselves. So, this self sufficient, stubbornly independent woman went home. Dinner seemed to consist of crow for weeks.
After much prayer, I knew the move back to 1619 Highway 96 North was the direction the Lord was leading me. I did not realize it then, but I needed to learn to call on Him for purpose. My attempt to create my own purpose He could find pleasure in was not exactly the order of business He chose to pursue.
Riding the coat tails of a cousin, I landed an interview at a local middle school. Little did I know, this job would change me. As I walked into the principal’s office, I knew I had the job. Not because I was qualified, not because I convinced them of their need for me on staff, God was giving me this job because He wanted to work in this principal’s life.
The day I met her she was confident and scarred. In an instant, my heart committed my head to a job I did not want. God has always spoken profoundly to me in relationships that He has orchestrated. This time would be no different.
The more I came to know this friend, the clearer a picture of brokenness became. While I helped her hold her piece, my own brokenness took center stage. I learned about freedom in Christ, as I watched her drag her chains up and down the mountain, time and time again. I became convinced of a broken heart and crushed spirit’s need for the Gospel, for relationship with God, for healing found in Christ, every time she rejected my Gospel presentation. After reading the following words in Isaiah, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;” (Isaiah 61:1, ESV) I knew my life was no longer about selling records. God gave me a burden for joining in purposeful relationship with spiritually bankrupt, brokenhearted individuals held captive by this world.
God has called me to the dynamic process of counseling. He has blessed me with the opportunity to study at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. And, just when I did not expect it, He has remembered my love for the music industry. After seminary, I will be headed to Nashville, TN, to counsel within the entertainment industry. Our God is a great god and the marvelous Author of Life.
Heather:One Sunday night, I heard a worker share of all that he had seen and done, in Africa. I was mesmerized. I had to go to Africa. I was a teacher, I had the summer off and knew I just had to go to Africa. I found a group who would be visiting Africa the upcoming July and hopped onboard. Needless to say, I had a miserable time. God definitely wasn’t calling me to work overseas.
Several months later, however, God began to speak to me. He showed me that what I didn’t like about Africa, was that he used that time to discipline and mold me. He had great plans in store.
Shortly following, I applied for, and accepted, a 2-year term in South Asia. I actually stayed almost 3. It was the hardest and best thing I have ever gotten to do. Days seemed to drag; living conditions were sometimes incredibly difficult, but I was blessed to get to see God move in ways beyond imagination. He taught me to value others, relationships. I continue to stand in awe of all He has allowed me to see and do. I am humbled that he would choose to use me.
God speaks to me in so many different ways. These ways include His Word, His voice (sometimes it is so clear it seems to be audible), His church, and circumstances. Sometimes when He is drawing me close to Himself to make a big decision, like returning to international work, it is almost as if I physically struggle with the Lord (as Jacob did at Peniel). I often stay awake to converse, or struggle, with Him. I am unable to sleep until He has given His Word to me and I have accepted it.
Even as the Lord was calling me to return to South Asia, I struggled with Him for a number of days and nights. My only reservation happened to be that I felt that committing myself to fulltime overseas work meant that I was committing myself to a life of singleness. I long to have a family of my own. I cherish the time I spend serving families, especially those with children. God has given me assurance that His plan is perfect for me and that it is something greater than anything I could plan for myself, no matter what it does or does not entail. This has certainly always been the case, as I look back over the years; He continues to be so faithful, even when I have been faithless. He kept calling me to a place of commitment to Him. As soon as I surrendered to Him and His plans, it was as if instantly, those worries were lifted. Certainly I hope and wonder about His plans, but I have found an amazing peace and strength in knowing that His plans are perfect and He wants more for me than I can even want for myself.
As soon as I had made this commitment to Him, the Lord insisted that I share it. That evening, I was having dinner with friends and shared my decision with them. One of those girls is my current roommate, an amazing sister in Christ, one by whom I have truly been blessed. Her first reaction was of confirmation. She explained that she had been watching my struggle with the Lord and praying for me and knew He had a big decision with even bigger plans for me. My family and friends are encouraging. Certainly my family is sad that I will most likely be far away. My mother dreams of me having her grandchildren and living just down the street for her to watch grow up. However, she encourages me to follow what the Lord calls me to do; she says that I always have. My family knows that the Lord has given me perseverance to do whatever He sets before me, no matter the cost. Many friends, especially those who are also involved in overseas work understand the cry of my heart and often give an encouraging word and confirm that they only knew it was a matter of time. So many were convinced, even when I left South Asia the first time, that I would be back. I was skeptical, to say the least, so they just have a playful, “I knew it,” or “It was only a matter of time.” The encouragement of my family and friends and the continued confirmation from the Lord has only spurred me on, toward all the amazing plans that He has in store!
